You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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