He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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