i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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