I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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