i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
