I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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