My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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