to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was like eating out sand paper
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
