People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it's great music for shaving your balls
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
