Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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