I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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