Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
