Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize