fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You made out with two different species that night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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