there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize