would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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