I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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