people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There are leaves in my underwear?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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