I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
