so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
