Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
