Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize