can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
