The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize