I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
