i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
