Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
