I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
