"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
