I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
