My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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