Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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