i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
