So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
