yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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