before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize