i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
