I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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