I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
