it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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