ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
