am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
