Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
