I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize