did you get engaged???
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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