Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have feelings that need drinking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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