Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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