Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My balls are so social today.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
