Don't you send me to vm
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
