So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
