Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
