i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize