Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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