Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
