My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just crazy horny about you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
