Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she pinky promised me she was 18
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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