You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
