$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
