i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
be right there i have to get my cape
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
