After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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