shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
