So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
