I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
