the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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