but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Come see our sink grown plant.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
